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Couch to 5K: Don’t Quit

Yesterday’s run was tough.  Physically, it was about the same as the last few runs… but mentally and emotionally (perhaps I should say hormonally) it was easily the toughest run I’ve had so far.  Everything just felt hard and overwhelming and not worth doing.  I blame the fact that I’m a girl and, as such, have a routine loss of emotional control.  It’s been worse since the little girl was born.

I’m just glad my husband was out there with me, even though I’m afraid I was a little bit mean to him.  I really wanted to quit.  Really really.  I insisted I couldn’t do it.  I practically yelled at him about how much it hurt, about how it couldn’t be right or healthy for an exercise to be painful and make you feel nauseous.  Except it wasn’t painful, it was just extremely physically challenging.  And I was no more nauseous than I’d been to start with.  I was, however, cranky and crampy with an aching lower back.  As it turns out, for about one week out of every month I am physically useless.

I got through it, mostly because my husband knew just what to say to piss me off a little bit, which he knew would keep me running out of spite.  I’m nice that way.  So yes, I did finish it.  And then I scowled all the way home.  Let me tell you, my husband probably deserves a medal for toughing out there with me, as I am pretty sure I blamed him.  Then everything gets all emotionally complicated because I feel guilty for treating him badly.  He says it’s fine, that he understands and knows I didn’t mean it, and that he’s proud of me for pushing through and finishing the run.  Seriously, I married a saint.

It was cold out yesterday, maybe 55 degrees, which I found helpful.  I like a cool breeze to keep me from sweating too much, and I feel like it makes me feel a little more energized.  My husband, on the other hand, said the air bothered his throat.  I also spent a lot of time worrying that my daughter was too cold in her stroller, so maybe a slightly warmer temperature is better for our family runs.

This morning?  I’m still awfully tired.  I am always exhausted during this week.  I feel good though.  I feel proud of myself for finishing, thankful for a husband who supports me so completely, and glad to know I can push through a crappy week and get these runs done so that I can keep going down the C25K trail.  I’m trying not to think too far ahead… each new week now terrifies me.  Gone are the slow, gradual progressions to more running.  They’ve been replaced by crazy jumps in the running times that make me feel like there is no way I can finish.  But I can, if I take my time.  After all, not too long ago I wouldn’t have been able to finish the first three minute run, let alone two of them plus two five minute runs.  I am clearly making progress, and I’m gaining speed too.

So I promise to keep going, to keep pushing myself to bigger and better (and faster?) things, and to successfully run at least the vast majority of a 5K in September.  I am starting to look forward to that, to knowing I can do a 5K without a struggle.  I’m trying to decide if my next goal should be to just stick with 5K events for a while and try to improve my time, or if I should aim for more distance instead and try some longer events.  I’d love your thoughts on the best course of action.  My ultimate goal is a half marathon.

Speaking of which, I’ve been reading posts lately about big BIG races… like Ashley’s Half Ironman… and I am amazed.  It is so incredible what a healthy body can do!  Of course, a half Ironman still sounds like total lunacy to me, since I still can’t even do a 5K… but I wonder if one day I’ll get to a point where I can get my head around it?  I doubt I’ll ever get into tri events since I don’t really swim and I don’t bike either…. well, I don’t know how to ride a bike.

I know.  I am the only adult on American soil who does not know how to ride a bike.  I also know I’ll have to learn soon, since I don’t want to be the mommy who teaches her daughter how to ride but can’t ride…


More from me:

How to read an Italian wine label

Mortar falls in Roman Colosseum


6 Responses

  1. OMG you don’t know what you’re missing by not riding a bike! it’s sooooo much better than running! well, at least in my opinion, i’m sure there are plenty of peeps out there that would disagree… anyways, keep at the c25k! you can do it!! and btw, that’s what husbands are for!! 🙂

  2. […] Couch to 5K: Don’t Quit […]

  3. I have felt the same way at certain points. But I read somewhere recently that not every run will be a “good run”. There will be runs where we will feel like utter crap, some we may not even finish, but as long as we get back out there the next time it’s all good. I am totally loving running again (used to do track/CC in high school) but I feel like sh*t sometimes too during/after. Yesterday I walked almost 7 miles and wanted to die when my allergies started to massively flare up (the only reason I didn’t quit is I had to walk the 3.5 miles back home). But I did it, and I will get back out there tomorrow. It’s also really hard not to compare yourself to others (I think you had talked about this in a previous post). My sister just started c25k and is a lot heavier than me, a former smoker and never did high school sports and she is kicking my ASS! It’s can be so infuriating but at the same time I am proud of her (and hella jealous!) Just focus on you and being the best you can be. It’s crazy how much running can help us both mentally and physically overcome our issues (for me not only weight but competitiveness)

    • I have been LOVING your comments on this. You’re definitely kicking my butt on the whole thing, but I think you’re much fitter than I am to begin with. You’re right though, all that matters is that we just keep getting out there and trying to make it happen. When the training is done, some of us will be faster and some slower, but we’ll all be healthier!

  4. You and me are in the same place. Do you know how many curse words I say when thinking about doing C25K. Everyday I have to run I say “F&@(, I don’t want to do this.” I HATE running. I am going to get through the C25K program and see if I continue. I want to run a 5k just to say that I did/I can. Maybe some people just “aren’t” runners.

    I saw Ashley’s ironman and I almost died. First, she is so healthy and fit but for some reason my brain said “someday I could do that.” What is wrong with my brain? I can barely make it through 25 min. runs.

    I hope your “womanly week” goes by quickly. Some days I feel awesome after C25K and other days (like today) I want to quit. Let’s get through this and find an activity that we love.

    BTW. . . give biking a try. I hadn’t ridden in 15+ years but now I long to ride Marilyn (my new bike.) LOVE!

    Keep your head up, we’re all in the same boat.



    • Thanks for the support. I’m the same way. Some days I feel like one day I’ll run a marathon, and other days I feel like I just need to grit my teeth, finish this training, and run ONE 5K just to say that I did it. Either way, I’ll be healthier and stronger and thinner, so it’s kind of a win-win…

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